Sunday, June 5, 2011

Gaming and Social Etiquette

So, I've played a couple of sessions of Pathfinder with some guys I met through a local game store. I played 3rd edition for years and I like the general improvements although its really just 3rd edition D&D. All the guys in the group are big Pathfinder fans, and I know that means they probably don't like 4th edition. So I don't make a big deal of it, but occasionally in talking about gaming it will come up that I run a 4E game.

I mention that last night, and this guy that I just met turns to me and says, "I fucking hate Fourth Edition." Not real aggressive or anything, but I'm still taken aback. I understand that people get into really heated arguments on the web about this sort of thing, but this seems like a breach of the basic social contract to just blurt that out to someone. And then the DM says, "yeah, why would you play fourth?"

Why do I have to defend my fucking game choices to people? Part of the reason this bugs me is because I don't get the arguments. Its just personal taste in gaming. RPGs are a very small hobby, and insulting someone over their choice in game, much less their choice in Edition of the same game, seems really small.

But the real issue is that its just fucking rude to talk to people like that when you're having a conversation. I remember once in college I was talking with some friends and mentioned another friend of mine, and they both started talking about how they hated her. I got up and left. I didn't really want to have to start defending my friend, because hey, not everyone likes everyone else. People don't always get along. But its rude to insult my friend right in front of me, regardless of how you feel. I was reminded of that situation. Its not the same as insulting a friend of mine, but its a hobby I'm invested in. I wasn't even espousing the greatness of 4E, or bashing Pathfinder--1 hour to do 2 rounds of combat, Jesus Christ! That's why I don't run that anymore. But I kept that to myself. I just said something about the game I run and somebody decided they had to tell me they hated it. Well, fuck you. Did I ask for your opinion or your approval?

I'm ok with debating geeky stuff. I spent 2 hours after the previous session talking about Star Wars vs Star Trek and Marvel vs DC with a couple of the guys. This wasn't the same thing. Several of the players in the group are also LARPers. I don't really have anything against LARPing, but I've made fun of it plenty in the past. But I didn't make fun of their game or say anything bad about it. I even asked them more about it, since I'm trying to make friends.

Anyway, I'm hoping venting on the interwebs will get this out of my system. Really I'm just trying to make new gamer friends, since most of the people I used to game with were my friends first. Can't we all just get along?

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